Lifestyle guru and all-around bad ass Martha Stewart stopped by The Today Show on Wednesday to give some tips on cooking a great Thanksgiving dinner. First on her list? Pepper spray that bird like it’s still alive and trying to peacefully protest corporate welfare.

When asked if the bird needed salt and pepper, Stewart replied in the affirmative before donning a bit of festive riot gear. “Here’s a fabulous trick I learned over at UC Davis” she said, while liberally (heh) applying the spicy condiment. I sincerely hope it was real pepper spray, and that the bird is destined for Megyn Kelly‘s table.

Here’s how I hope it goes down: