There’s been some talk about why I hate The Notebook. Well. I would think that would be obvious. But a lot of people seem to think it’s “romantic” and “moving” and “Ryan Gosling doesn’t have retarded face, what are you talking about?”

Of course it’s moving. It’s the most emotionally manipulative movie ever. I cry at the end. Sure, I cry at the end. You tell me a story about a child whose only friend is a dog and then the dog gets run down by a lawnmower, I’ll cry over that, too. Buckets. I cry over the dog in I Am Legend. But it won’t necessarily make it a good story, it will just make me someone who has really common feelings.

I guess I also hate The Notebook because I find it’s a movie that men who really, under any normal circumstances, just want to watch Goodfellas for the 500th time (which is fine with me, I love Goodfellas) throw up to show that they have feelings. “Yeah, I’m kind of a softie, I like The Notebook.” Bullshit. Bullshit, you like The Notebook. You want to have crying swamp sex and then build a house while crying? You think dementia is romantic? Fine. Whatever. I’m going to be over here, learning how cool prison is when you’re in the mafia.

(Incidentally, for a movie about how dementia is romantic that is fantastic – just in case that was a sentence you really zeroed in on – Away From Her. You want to cry, at least cry for Julie Christie.)

So, anyhow, I hate The Notebook. Everyone else loves it. Fine. I guess a lot of people in Germany loved Nazis at one point.You know what else people loved? Slavery. People love lots of things that are terrible.

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone here. What “good movie” do you hate that everyone else loves?