I don’t know about you, but every Easter the Easter Bunny would deliver a basket to both my sister and I filled with sweets. Despite having told the Easter Bunny year after year of my disdain for Peeps, the damn bunny refused to listen. The lack of acknowledgment on the Easter Bunny’s part regarding this issue resulted in many, many wasted and unconsumed Peeps. If only the Easter Bunny left them at the CVS so they could go on sale that following Monday instead of dropping them at my house, the world probably would have been better off and some lucky Peep-lovin’ person would have been a happy duck.

As we got older, my sister and I realized that if we put an air hole in the packages of all those Peeps we’d end up with some very colorful weapons. Do you know what it feels like to have a rock hard Peep chucked at your head? It hurts. A lot. If only my sister and I in our wild youth had access to the Internet and the world of possibilities for Peeps outside of weaponry, we could have been far more creative in our stale Peep pursuits. However, they didn’t have Internet in the 1980’s which also led to she and I having to play outside in the sunshine and all that malarkey.

I may have moved into my own place in NYC, but that doesn’t stop the Easter Bunny from mailing me Peeps every year as some sort of sick joke. The Easter Bunny, at least the one who frequents my life, finds it funny to do such things. Sick Easter Bunny. But this year I’m one step ahead of the Easter Bunny and have found a myriad of ways to deal with all those Peeps. From fashion to home decor to exciting new entrees, Peeps actually do have a purpose outside of weaponry.