So there’s apparently some website called Sober February that’s all about not drinking for the whole month of February. First of all, I hate this clean living shit. Secondly, I think the creators of this month are totally punking out by choosing the shortest month of the year. And they encourage you not to let the month become “Boring February” by staying active and doing things like … going to bars. Um, not so much. If you need be, I’ll be swilling moonshine in a valiant attempt to balance out all the nerds who actually take part in this initiative.