I would never date a writer. I did date one once, and although he turned out to be a strangler and that was our undoing, I knew that it wouldn’t last because of his profession. Dating a writer, like dating a musician (think Adele here, among so many others), is basically setting yourself up for humiliation, torment and a raw exposure for which you probably didn’t bargain. If you really think that every argument or moment of bliss is going to go undocumented by the writer you’re dating, you’re wrong. The writer tells all.

They say that the best writers are the ones who write what they know; and of course what one knows and knows best is what’s immediately in front of them: you. Since I first started writing when I was, oh, I don’t know how old, it’s been the people in my life who have fueled my work. I can say honestly, that I’m not quite sure how to write fiction. The talent that must be involved to come up with a world and people that don’t exist is something I just don’t have in me. I may not be a fan of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, but that woman is insanely gifted. We’re talking about someone who invented the word “muggle”! Granted, I don’t know what the hell a “muggle” is, but I know it’s Rowling’s doing and that’s pretty fucking fantastic, as it probably is one of the most fun words to say when you need a giggle.

However, I’m sure there are still parts of Rowling’s real life interwoven in her world of wizardry. How could there not be? You can’t completely separate your existence from your art, because without life, art can’t exist and vice versa.

Although I have found that the people I have dated liked whenever I wrote about them, or at least claimed they did, personally, I wouldn’t want someone else sharing the intimate details that I put on display almost everyday for everyone to see. I can put myself on display just fine, thank you; I don’t need anyone else doing it. So while I sit here with Tattoo Guy watching Silence of the Lambs on my couch, I can’t help but think how severely unbalanced he must be in the head every time he asks: “Did you write about me again?” Sure, Tattoo Guy, but this is the last time; I swear.

If anyone out there is dating a writer, let me know! I’m curious how that’s working out for you.

[ITPGallery]