We all end up thinking that we’re characters on TV shows. Some women end up thinking that they’re Carrie Bradshaw, or, worse, Hannah Horvath. They are not. Even more ridiculously, some men in your life may think they are Don Draper. No. They are not Don Draper. They are maybe Pete Campbell. Here is why:
Does he even wear a suit? No?
No, not like, “He once wore a suit at his brother’s wedding.” Does he wear a fucking cool suit every single day, as if he is the sexy villain in a teen movie (Pretty in Pink, Cruel Intentions). No, huh?
When he severs ties with people abruptly, you do not always think, “Yes, that was completely called for.”
He is not best friends with his boss. His boss does not even want to hang out with him.
He cannot talk with a cigarette in his mouth.
Dude, he looks ridiculous in a fedora. I know this. You know this. We all know this.
And he looks like a waiter in a white tuxedo. An imaginary white tuxedo he does not own.
Oh, God, he does not even own a tux, does he?
Maybe people got him a cake or something for his birthday, but that was about it.
When he says, “I’m living life like there’s no tomorrow because there isn’t one” people question that statement, don’t they?
No, seriously, when he says things like, “The reason you haven’t felt it is because it doesn’t exist. What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons” people laugh at him, don’t they? They laugh.
Judging from last night’s episode, they are able to work without consuming an amount of drugs that would slay Edie Sedwick instantly. You should compliment them on that, and they should feel good about that.
Pictures via Mad Men