Every day, The Daily Mail finds a new way to make me sad. They report:

A third [of women] view traditional radical feminism as ‘too aggressive’ towards men, while a quarter no longer view it as a positive label. One in five describe it as ‘old-fashioned’ and simply ‘not relevant’ to their generation. 

Look. I am only going to say this one more time.

If you believe men and women deserve to be paid equally for equal work, you are a feminist. As a feminist, here are some things you can still do:

Wax off all your body hair below the eyebrows

Wear globs of make-up

Wear so much make-up people call you “harlot-face”.

Wear impractical shoes

Have sex in elaborate lingerie

Wear garter-belts fucking everywhere

Never have sex ever, because you exist only to tantalize men

Make men pay for dinner and burn the restaurant to the ground if they do not (this also makes you a criminal.)

Be proud of being a mother!

Have 17 children

Never work a day in your life.

Have weird sex with Hugh Hefner

Marry Hugh Hefner

Have Hefner babies

Make your eyes really big like those Ukranian women who turn themselves into human Barbie dolls

Become a human barbie doll

Basically this:

anime girl

You can become a human anime figure and, if you still believe women should have equal pay to men, you still qualify as a feminist. Even though your eyes are big and painted on. That is all.