All right, ladies. It’s about to be 2011. That’s practically the future. It’s time to clear out dating habits that scream “2009” and start acting like women of the new decade — nay, the new millennium! Here are five habits to drop if you’re still doing them:

  1. Worrying more about whether someone you’re dating likes you than whether you like them. At the end of the day, there’s nothing you can do to make someone like you more. So stop worrying about it. Now, if you don’t like them, there is something you can do. Stop seeing them. This is also known as “getting your priorities in order.”
  2. Playing phone games. Seriously? How old are you? 12? Don’t play phone games. And if you do, don’t ask me about it. If you ask me how long you should wait before texting someone back, I will slap you. And you will deserve it.
  3. Breaking plans with your friends to hang out with your new flame because you’re worried that if you don’t, they’ll never call you again. Don’t you read Glamour? Even they know that this move is bullshit. Besides, in the end this is a lose-lose. You lose self-respect, your new partner thinks you’re available all the time when you really aren’t, and your friends think you’re an asshole. Also, newsflash: if they like you, you’ll get to hang out with them again. When you’re free.
  4. Unprotected sex. Yes, you. You with the loose morals. Just kidding. But seriously, you know better. Again, a partner worth keeping is a partner who agrees that STD’s are only for sharing when you’re deeply committed to someone.
  5. Contacting people via Friendster. No one uses Friendster anymore. Transition to Facebook.