No one wants to be treated like a child by their significant other. And yet that doesn’t stop some people in relationships from weighing in on everything from their partner’s finances to their drinking habits (STFU, 11am is a perfectly reasonable time for a Long Island Iced Tea). They may think they’re being helpful, but the reality is that they’re being controlling and need to be put in check.

How to know if this is happening to you? Here are a few telltale signs:

  1. You start talking about buying a new car, and they start telling you that you can’t afford it.
  2. When booking tickets to go out of town, they question whether you can take that much time off work.
  3. During a night out with work colleagues, you have one drink too many. The next morning, your partner scolds you for behaving badly.*
  4. On your way out to dinner, you grab a snack because you’re ravenous and you know you won’t actually see any food for over an hour. Your partner reprimands you for spoiling your appetite.
  5. You wind up staying out later than you said you would, and your partner starts texting you angrily asking where you are and what you’re doing.

*Obviously, this doesn’t hold true of you have one — or several — drinks too many every time you go out with your colleagues. In that case, your partner isn’t thinking they’re your parent — they’re wondering whether they should be in a relationship with you at all.