You’re dating someone! You’re still in the “have sex six times a day” phase! You have a perma-glow that no amount of expensive face cream could ever replicate! Now, you should tell all your friends, right?

No.

Inspired by a blog I love, STFU Marrieds, I’ve compiled a list of five things coupled-up people should avoid on social networking sites.

  • Do not post anything on your significant other’s wall that would work better as a personal, handwritten love letter. Here’s a tip: would you be OK if your mom read it? If you think she’d be horrified to know that you call your boyfriend “sugarballs,” then so would your friends. You should be confident enough in your love for each other that you don’t have to prove your affection by leaving each other gushy Facebook messages.
  • Your profile picture needs to be a picture of you. It’s normal that you two will be in photos together, but when it comes to your profile pic – the first thing that most people see when they add you as a friend or look at your profile – it needs to be of you. Your identity should be about you as a person, not about you as half of a couple.
  • If you break up, keep your personal drama off of Facebook. You may be mad or want to lash out, but putting something on the internet leaves evidence, and once you’ve healed and moved on to someone better the last thing you want is reminders that you left a dozen snotty comments on your ex’s wall.
  • Never mention your sex life. That should be obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people don’t understand the whole “your friends can see this” thing.
  • Avoid the royal “we.” If you’re writing a note on a friend’s wall or declining an invite to their birthday party, don’t say things like “we’re going to be out of town that weekend.” You have an account for yourself; your significant other has their own account. Unless you guys have a joint account, which is an entire “don’t” in its own right.