God, the dudes over at Dude Society seem really nice. They want to surprise girls. With things like flowers, and manicures! Now, sure, those may work on ordinary women. But over at TheGloss, we believe talons are the new nails, and the only flowers we want are Les Fleurs du Mal (maybe Flowers for Algernon, too. We like mice). But don’t despair. Don’t just say “oh, my delicate man-brain cannot grasp the nuances of all that women want, I am a sad troglodyte, indeed.” Don’t do that, because I came up with some really good ideas for you! These ideas are like sheep riding a vespa good.