age of empires

There is a post on Jezebel talking about how “age is never just a number.” Wait for it….

17! 42. 83. 1/2. 2 months. 2 month old baby. -4. -4 month old baby. Invisible number (like a Ghost, like Casper). 969 LIKE METHUSELAH. 5,000 like a lady vampire in an Anne Rice novel. Those were numbers. Those are all just numbers. They are ages with numbers attached.

However. Sometimes age is not a number. Not never, but sometimes.

Here are some times when age is not a number.

The Age of Innocence

The Age of Reason

The Age of Corrupt Irrationality (1984-1987, approximately. Or whenever Bret Easton Ellis was writing).

The Bronze Age

The Iron Age

The Golden Age

The iPhone Age

The Dark Ages

The Age Of Light

The Space Age

Age-nt Orange

The Age of Anxiety

Age of Aquarius

Age of Empires

Age of Empires 3

Age of Empires 2 sucked.

Age of War

Age of not war?

Age of Exploration (also known at the age of discovery)

The Age Where Witches Made You Do Stuff (all fairy tales, many Shakespearean plays)


The incredibly specific age of your lover, who is older than you, and this is a thing you are grappling with in a vague sort of way.

So there you go. None of them numbers.