I’m not a big relationship girl. My “relationships” (if you really want to call them that — I can’t help but think that might insult actual relationships) have been short-lived and pretty casual, and quite honestly, I am alright with that. While I’m a little sad that I haven’t found anyone whom I could build something longer-lasting with (at the old spinster age of 21, gasp!), I’ve lived long enough to know that there’s nothing worse than forcing a relationship when things aren’t “right.” Plus, I have absolutely no desire to share my twin-sized bed or pretend that I don’t spend a good three hours a night re-watching Gossip Girl for the sake of a relationship. If I meet someone awesome, great — I’ll sacrifice Netflix for boyfriend time. But as Michael Buble sings, “I just haven’t met you yet.”
Even though I know why I’m not currently in a serious relationship, that doesn’t stop me from bemoaning to my friends about my single status now and then. Sometimes it feels like I’m one of the only girls out of my group of friends who isn’t currently in a relationship or just out of one, and I can’t help but be jealous when I see couples who really “get” one another and connect on a level that I’ve never been able to with anyone before. I know that a relationship is in my future (it’s statistics, let’s be real) but I can’t help but sigh when I realize that I’m going through yet another Valentine’s Day with a box of Edible Arrangement chocolate-covered strawberries as my date. (Which I bought for myself, FYI.)
Maybe I should stop doing that. Due to my single-sighing, my well-meaning friends feel free to dole out advice on how to meet someone special. While my friends may think that they are dishing out invaluable romantic wisdom, I’m a little bit skeptical about some of their advice. Here’s some of their dating tips that I’m not too sure about.
1. “You should hang out at more sports bars, especially during major (insert sport) games.”
I get the logic of hanging out where guys are known to flock, but for me, it comes with two problems. The first problem here is that there is nothing worse than trying to compete for someone’s attention with the nearest big screen. If there was something called an ABC Family bar, for example, I would not be flirting with anyone during my version of “the big game.” (Read: Pretty Little Liars season finale. Did I mention that I’m in my 20s?) The second problem is that I know nothing about sports, nor do I care to know anything about sports. “Go team!” sounds way too ironic coming out of my mouth and I am terrified of being seen as a fraud.
2. “Have you even tried OKCupid?”
I get this advice a lot from people who are in long-term relationships and assume that OKCupid is like online shopping for a boyfriend. I have nothing against internet dating, but it’s not like you confirm your account and poof! you’re magically matched with your soulmate.
3. “You should try Tinder!”
Oh, honey… who hasn’t?
4. “I know a guy! He’s single, too! You guys should go out.”
There’s nothing sweeter than one of my friends handpicking an awesome person to introduce me to. The problem is that well-meaning friends tend to arbitrarily decide on guys that would be good for me based solely on their relationship status. Hey, I’m all for meeting new people but we should probably have more in common than the fact that we both check the “single” box on tax forms.
5. “Why don’t you give XYZ another shot? They were nice!”
Because I’ve done this and it’s always gone poorly. Either I’ve ended up hurting them by being wishy-washy about my feelings for them or they’ve ended up hurting me in the same way. I’m about moving forward.
6. “Ever think you might just be too picky?”
I would get it if I were looking for someone super specific (like, I don’t know, a member of the British Royal Family, or Ian Somerhalder’s secret identical twin) but I’m not. Of course, if anyone happens to have an in with either of these types, please tell them to call me.
7. “Why don’t you hang out on the steps of the law school?”
This advice is from my mother, who has dreams of me marrying a Warner Huntington III type (or at least dating one for a while in hopes he will encourage me to go to law school.)
8. “What about museums or art galleries?”
Hey, I love museums! But while my friends think that I’ll meet guys like the hot artist Topanga while studying “Starry Night” I’ve been to enough museums to learn that, sadly, Boy Meets World is fiction. The only guys that I’ve met are already one-half of an elderly couple or on a field trip with their fifth grade class.
I’m going to keep trying though, just in case. (Hey, that guy was super hot!)