I stumbled across this post over at Glamour.com about things men want you to do more of, both inside and outside the bedroom. And as I paged through the advice, it made me wonder (yes, like Carrie Bradshaw), does anyone actually take this shit seriously? Other than this guy, of course…
I mean, I’m not going to lie — I love a good women’s mag. And Glamour is one of my favorites. But when it comes to these dating and sex tips, I feel like they’re just a good read, high entertainment value, but not much more.
First of all, in the middle of sex, I am rarely thinking about any tips that I read in Glamour magazine, and I hope you aren’t either. If you’re too busy trying to remember the hand-drawn diagram of two people fucking in a new position that you glimpsed while on the treadmill earlier that day, it’s doubtful that you’re paying attention to what’s actually making you feel good, and what’s actually making your partner feel good.
Second of all, you can read until you’re blue in the face about what the “men that Glamour polled” like and don’t like, but it won’t get you any closer to finding out what the man or woman that you’re dating is into. And in fact, it probably sets you both up for disappointment. You’ve gone out of your way to do something to please your S.O., and if it doesn’t work, you’re left wondering why not and feeling like a chump. Also, your partner probably has no idea why you’re suddenly screaming in bed when for the past year, you’ve never made a peep.
Thirdly, it’s one thing to try harder at making a relationship work. But it’s another thing to do something that has nothing to do with the person you are, because a magazine suggested it. If you’re not outdoorsy, you’re not outdoorsy. And by pretending you are, you’re giving your partner the wrong idea, and you’re being untrue to yourself (and also probably doing something that you legitmately don’t like). There’s a big difference between comrpomise and being someone you’re not. Also, sometimes compromise simply means, “you go hike while I watch reruns of ANTM with this jumbo bag of kettle corn.” If he or she can’t love you AND the imprints your ass has made on the couch, it’s time to say good-bye.