We get it! Your heart was broken and he was the love of your life and you’ll never love like that again and you still dream about him on a nightly basis and you’re quite certain that all those hung-up calls from a blocked number are him just trying to hear your voice one last time! You want a medal just because you think you’re the first and the last to ever suffer such a detrimental toll on your heart and soul? Fine. I’ll go make you one, but in the meantime just shut the fuck up already!

This is actually my pep talk to myself every morning, but it clearly is NOT working. And as far as I’m concerned, I’m going to write about whomever I want for as long as I want because muses are hard to find and at some point I’m going to stop using pseudonyms, but I can justify this because I’m not famous and I don’t go on talk shows griping about my former love! However, Russell Brand is famous, and is also, yet again, talking about Katy Perry as if they’re the only two to ever file for divorce.

As of two days ago, Perry and Brand were officially divorced just six months after signing the necessary paperwork to call it quits after only 14 months of marriage. Now that the divorce is final, you’d think that would put an end to Brand’s incessant talking about it, but no. He was at it again on Piers Morgan last night where he expressed a very similar sentiment to the one he displayed on Elle DeGeneres just two months ago. The man is like a broken record about it instead of just letting it lay, as many celebrities would do. We get that he loved her, that it didn’t work out and right here is the tiniest violin in the world playing just for you, Russell.

Is there a time limit on such things, or do we get to drag them out forever? As someone in the public eye, you’d think he’d move to just solely trying to drudge up support for his new and upcoming projects, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Does he get twice as long as the relationship was or half as long as it was to discuss the dickens out of it? I can’t recall what the “official” time allotment is on it according to Sex and the City which, when it comes to things like this, is always correct.


Photo: Nikki Nelson / WENN.com