Welcome to Bad in Bed, where we discuss sex and relationship advice that we don’t want, and the people we don’t want it from. Today’s subject is David DeAngelo.

Ladies, I have to be fair here. I’ve been known to be pleasantly surprised by the advice doled out on AskMen.com. For instance, their tips for being communicative and enthusiastic during sex.

But right now, there’s a grievous offense going on over there at the hands of one David DeAngelo, who’s doling out advice that might make you vomit up your morning danish.

DeAngelo, a self-proclaimed “dating and seduction expert,” has a basic philosophy that women are attracted to men’s behavior, and by that token, men who “make fun of attractive women, bust on them right out of the gate, as long as it was always done in a very smart, funny and charming way.”

Sounds like a guy you want to meet, huh? On the website, DeAngelo advises men to do the following, a technique he calls “Cocky and Funny”:

1- Make an arrogant comment.

2- Add humor to make it funny instead of lame and obnoxious.
Here’s my classic example: Let’s say you’re walking down the street with a woman and she says, “Wow, I really like those shoes in the window.” You answer, “You would.” Or if  you’re talking to a woman who’s wearing four-inch heels, you say, “What are you, four feet tall without the shoes?”

Basically, you’re saying things that are funny while being a bit arrogant at the same time. But best of all, while it’s obvious that you’re making fun of her, it’s not exactly clear what you mean. This creates interest and intrigue as she tries to “figure you out.”

As a woman, this makes me want to slap the shit out of both DeAngelo and any guy who tries it. I like funny men as much as the next gal, and I also appreciate someone who can spar with me. But I don’t consider it to be sparring when someone just takes any chance he can get to say something mean with the hopes of “piquing my interest.”

You know what’s piqued in that situation? My belief that you are a douchebag.

This also smacks of men who want to put women down in order to prove that they’re not afraid of us. But the way to do that is by talking to us like adults, and behaving like an adult yourself. DeAngelo’s tactics are none of those things.

Ladies, if you see a man you know reading any of this kind of advice, knock the computer or the book out of his hands. For the good of all womankind.