Welcome to Bad in Bed, where we discuss sex and relationship advice that we don’t want, and the people we don’t want it from. Today’s topic is men with handlebar mustaches.

Yesterday, we asked if you could date a man who wears skinny jeans. Well, today we take that line of questioning further, and ask: could you date a man who wears his (bad) sense of irony semi-permanently on his face? In other words, could you date a man with a handlebar mustache?

If you could, this post at Nerve is for you: “Sex Advice from Men with Handlebar Mustaches.” Questions and answers therein go something like this:

Q: “How does your mustache give you a competitive edge?” A: “I’m like a modern day Magnum P.I. Who can say no to Tom Selleck?” — James, 36

Well, I could say no to someone who was trying to look like Tom Selleck, especially since the days of mentioning Tom Selleck’s name in an attempt to be hip and quirky have come, lingered, been beaten to death, then commenced to crawl away in utter, sorry defeat.

But, hey — if that’s your thing, I’m sure that James, 36, would love to hear from you.