Perhaps, “way more delicious” is too positive a phrase, as I’ve yet to meet a woman or man who sits around craving semen. But, hey, I’m sure someone somewhere out there wakes up every morning and asks: “Semen? Now? Where can I get a mouthful of that yummy snack?”

As a woman who throughly does enjoy giving blowjobs, but only with someone I’ve been hanging around with for awhile (apparently, the word “dating” will never, ever be used by me), I do occasionally go looking for things, ways, random recipes to make the act even more enjoyable. Outside of the incident with Asparagus Boy a year ago, cum, for the most part tastes relatively the same in my experience, with some minor differences here and there based on food that as been ingested or the amount of alcohol that has been consumed. Honestly, a mouth full of semen isn’t exactly on the top of my list of things I desire — even if I’m starving to death and I’ve been promised that the protein in it is the only thing that’s going to keep me alive. But in the case of sex, I do it because unlike a lot of the fellas I’ve been with, I’m selfless and should therefore receive a medal for my efforts. And yes, semen aside, I really like that feeling of a cock in my mouth and against the back of my throat.

Earlier this week I was in Babeland picking out some goodies for both myself and an upcoming bachelorette party. Upon leaving, you were given the chance to take a number out of a bowl for some raffle situation and I won edible body chocolate. Unsure as to whether or not I’d ever use it, the sales gal insisted I try it. I took off the top and… Oh. My. Fucking. God. It tasted like a dark chocolate Lindt truffle. I marched home with my treats in my bag and made a quick pit stop at Tattoo Guy’s work to inform him that I was going to need to use his cock later that day for the sake of research. The fella loves being my guinea pig.

For the first time in my life I was told that I had given the “most epic” blowjob that he had ever received in his life. Why? The fucking chocolate. It wasn’t as though I all of a sudden gained some super human skills in the matter of 48 hours (although I usually get a high-five for my technique), it was just that I love chocolate so much that I couldn’t stop. And because the chocolate flavor was so intense, when he came, the taste of his manly juice was, you guessed it, chocolate! Dark chocolate! Do you know how many blowjobs I plan on giving for the rest of my life especially when I’m moody and PMSing? Hundreds.

So there you have it. Chocolate and blowjobs go together as naturally as peanut butter and jelly. While the brand I used was by Babeland, I’m sure there are other ones out there. And if worse comes to worse, pick up some Lindt truffles, melt that shit into a syrup and go to town. Chocolate really makes everything so much better.


Photo: Human Body Art