Buzzfeed has this nifty break-up chart that’s taught us all kind of useful things. Like, people break up a lot on Mondays, not very often in August, oh, and you’re making terrible decisions.
Don’t break up with someone 2 weeks before Christmas. Break up with them right now. You do it two weeks before Christmas, sure, you’re going to get out of buying a present. But you’re also going to spend your Christmas vacation engaging in a lot of phone calls where you say things like “yes, when I get back to town we should definitely have lunch as friends” and weeping, which will make your entire family hate you. It’s just not worth it. Now. Do that break-up now. By New Year’s, that relationship will be a fading memory and you’ll be with [insert person you’d like to spend New Year’s Eve with].
Now we just need to figure out why there’s a spike at April Fools’ Day.