Every time I think about the fact that Rihanna got back together with Chris Brown it makes me really sad, because, you know, he’s a consistently horrible person. This is someone who just told Jenny Johnson ‘mom says hello… She told me not to shit in ur mouth, wanted me to shit right on the retina.’

I feel like now this sadness is spilling over into things that would normally seem fine, like Rihanna’s tweeted topless photos. Spilling over like poo into an eyeball.

I mean, normally when starlets tweet topless photos of themselves I think “well, I can worry one bit less about my own topless photos turning up online! People will have better things to search for!” I am afraid that is actually what I think. They can look for a picture of Rihanna in sweatpants, seemingly looking more seductive coming back from the gym than I will ever look in my life.

rihanna toplessI mean, Rihanna always looks pretty cool.

But in the case of Rihanna’s recently tweeted photos, juxtaposed with her photos of Chris Brown in her bed, all I can think is “she is sleeping with a man who thinks about shitting in women’s retinas. Their retinas.”

I mean, he’s right here:

Chris Brown responded to his Twitter fight with comedian Jenny Johnson by tweeting “”Just ask Rihanna if she mad??????” I guess… she is not. But everyone does feel that she ought to be. Not just because you beat the shit out of her, but because women generally don’t like to hear about you wanting to shit in other women’s retinas.

I know that we all have the freedom to make different choices, but I do wish Rihanna would just run away from this whole situation. She’s already got the sweatpants and the running shoes ready! She needs only to put a top on!

Pictures via @rihanna