Really, be nice to people when you dump them.


Because if you’re not, then somehow this sad, sad man will get the notion that you can buy yourself a social life. I mean, the fact that the first thing he does after a break-up is go to the Citi webpage is a really bad sign in terms of interesting-ness, but we’ll leave that alone for a second.

Alone. Much like him. Because this poor man goes to everything alone. He never develops interests that are not pre-chosen for him by Citi, and he never makes friends. He does have Alicia Keyes smile at him once, though, but that isn’t really the same as having a rich and fulfilling life.

And then he ends by declaring “who’s boring now?”

Well, you, guy. You are boring because you still do not appear to have interests that were not chosen for you by a credit card company. 

I’d say that maybe his ex, Lauren – Lauren, who sent him down this tragic path of pre-selected interests in which he arbitrarily does whatever his credit card company tells him to do – could have told him to work on cultivating his own interests. Or, you know, maybe she could have just said that he was boring to her. To her, specifically. Because, surely, someone is going to find someone who wants to recite credit card statements – which I guess is what this guy does for fun given how his go-to break-up move was to log onto Citi – and think “well, that’s what I’ve been waiting for.”

Everyone is interesting to someone.

This ad makes me really sad, is what I’m saying.