Slut-o-ween has come early this year for everyone’s favorite 35-year-old performance artist 17-year-old child bride. While visiting a pumpkin patch in the Santa Clara Valley over the weekend, Courtney Stodden and her doting husband Doug Hutchison were unceremoniously ejected after some sad, jealous haters who were there with their sad, jealous kids complained that Courtney and Doug were “behaving inappropriately” all up in their area.

Whatever, losers. You saw two beautiful people in beautiful love, and it was more than your lame, suburban existences could bear. Furthermore, you deprived your children of a valuable lesson in “being sexy” that might have come in handy, considering how tragically un-sexy they currently are. I mean, does your 12-year-old even know how to walk in stripper shoes? How is she ever supposed to win Miss Ocean Shores, fall in love, and ignite the world while being raised in that kind of Puritanical environment?

Here are some more photos of what those poor children were forced to miss out on:

It’s sad, rilly.

(Via HuffPo)