It’s engagement o’clock in Bunnyland: Hugh Hefner announced on his Twitter that he has given Crystal Harris a ring for wedding commitment numero dos. Harris — who now goes by Crystal Hefner via Twitter — posted a photo of the brand new rock. As one might suspect, the ring is a big fucking diamond:
Hef tweeted, “I’ve given Crystal Harris a ring. I love the girl.” Aw, well isn’t that adorable? According to People, the pair is planning to marry one another on New Year’s Eve at — where else? — the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles.
Personally, I hate diamonds. My animosity for the little rocks is not just because of their typically terrible obtainment, but also because I find them a bit boring. I mean, yes, it’s impressive in a strange way when you consider the cost and precision that goes into a stone of this preciousness and magnitude, but once you get past that aspect, I also just think they’re kind of lifeless. Oh, sparkly! I think I’d rather wear engagement chicken on my finger than have to worry about every single chiffon garment I wear catching on my ridiculously huge ring, but to each her own.
Amid all this bizarre engagement bliss, I can’t help but wonder if Harris would be keeping the ring once again if she were to call of the wedding once more. I wish I could say I’d be as generous as Hef and let her keep it like last time (after all, the man could chop and toast hundred dollar bills and eat them as cereal with liquid gold for the milk if he wanted to). Instead, I’m pretty sure I would take back the ring on principal alone. Then I would give it to the next person wearing a nice hat, just because. And Instagram the whole thing.
Photo: Crystal Harris