dattch-lesbians-and-men

Robyn Exton has been pursuing a simple goal: to create a lesbian-only dating app with real women, for real women. She says that for lesbians, it’s even harder to meet potential partners. For those who have ever been on any dating website ever, you likely know that there are multitudes of fake profiles to sift through; for any of you who are gay, bisexual or anything other than straight, you have probably experienced numerous men trying to contact you despite explicitly stating a non-interest in males on your profile. Despite being exclusive in membership to gay women, Exton’s new app Dattch still seems be experiencing this same problem, because apparently websites devoted to lesbians and men refusing to take a “no, on every level” answer go hand in hand.

Exton says that regardless of the rules for membership, Dattch, which is currently in invite-only beta testing in London, has seen numerous men attempt to join. Many men masquerade as lesbians, going so far as to make fake Facebook pages in order to progress their false identities as gay women — just as they would on, say, OKCupid or other non-paid dating websites. Exton is presently reviewing profiles one-by-one herself in order to weed out any liars. Fortunately, these men seem to be rather stupid:

“Daily, we have about five guys registering for an invite and it’s unsubstantiated but the emails have a guy’s name on them. We’ve seen fake Facebook accounts set up to try and get invites. You’ll see they set up an account yesterday, have no friends but they like Dattch and something like ‘Lesbian and bi girlies of London’. It’s amazing. The fact that people will go to that extent to try and check out gay women or convert them or meet up with them.”

‘Lesbian and bi girlies of London’ made me both frown and giggle profusely simultaneously, as I can’t imagine anybody thinking that would be a realistic thing for any lesbian to say on a dating website, but it does make it clear how idiotic some of these e-actors are. And it is also extremely sad that people will actually take serious time and energy attempting to pursue or convert these women who are so, so clearly not interested.

So, why do these men want to mislead lesbians into believing they’re women? It seems ridiculous on a number of levels, the first being that these women will pretty easily be able to recognize the lie if the two ever meet. This actually creeps me out even more, though, because it makes me wonder if these men are trying to meet women in person and don’t care if they’re interested; they simply want to get lesbians alone for potentially violent reasons.

But beyond the sketchier reasons, there is a simple (but nevertheless sad as hell) reason many men try to pursue lesbians: they want what they blatantly can’t have. It’s not a matter of “maybe if I am more charming” or “maybe if I lose weight” or “maybe she’s not ready for a relationship right now”; she will never be interested, and that is that. And as pathetic as it is, this notion of inaccessibility is somehow appealing for those who “love the chase” — no matter how futile it may be.

Listen, men: if you are not a homosexual female, you should not be joining a dating app for lesbians. It is simply not fair for the women on that service who wish to actually meet somebody whose company they can romantically enjoy, and it’s a seriously douchebag move to ensnare them in fake profiles and false identities. If you wanna watch lesbian porn or go to strip shows involving multiple women or draw boob-on-boob cartoons, by all means, do that! But don’t play some wretched little game with women who are simply trying to navigate the frustrating dating world. Just don’t.

Photo/logo: Dattch’s Facebook