eyeball licking fetish

When you lick someone’s eyeball, you French kiss all the other people who have licked that eyeball.

Have you ever licked someone’s eyeball or had someone lick yours? Because “eyeball sex” is apparently the hot new fetish among Japanese schoolchildren, and it’s led to an entirely predictable outbreak of pink eye.

The crazy thing about eyeball licking, among the many crazy things about eyeball licking, is that it’s apparently the “new second base,” according to The Guardian. It’s where you go when you’ve gotten tired of kissing but have not yet gotten to the chest-petting stage.

Eyeball licking, or oculolinctus, is called “worming,” which somehow manages to make it even less sexy and romantic. Grade school kids are doing it at school, just opening up and letting their new boyfriend or girlfriend’s tongue sweep across their eyeball.

While nobody is going to get pregnant from it, eyeball licking is not a safe sexual practice. The tongue can easily transmit bacteria that can cause eye infections, and it also puts the eyeball at risk of corneal scratches and blindness. And this eyeball-licking craze has even led to an outbreak of eye chlamydia.

Eye chlamydia is a thing. I could have gone my whole life without knowing eye chlamydia was a thing.

“The eyeballs are incredibly sensitive because they need to detect grit and other small particles, and the sensation of oculolinctus is supposedly akin to that of toesucking,” The Guardian’s Stuart Heritage wrote. “Unwilling to try it myself – because my tongue isn’t long enough, I don’t want eye-chlamydia and just writing about this has made me retch uncontrollably – I can’t tell you firsthand if that’s true.”

I actually have had my eyeball licked, though it was entirely by accident. During my freshman year of college I was messing around and being silly with my new boyfriend, and he went to lick my face. But I accidentally blinked and his tongue swept right across my eyeball.

For a moment everything went blurry, then my contact lens slowly slid back into position over my eye. We both froze in horror.

“Agh! I licked your eye,” he shouted, jumping around as though he’d stepped on a slug in his bare feet.

“No you didn’t,” I lied.

“I did, I did. I licked your eye!”

After much shuddering and gagging, we reached an unspoken agreement to never mention it again. While I certainly cannot speak for everyone, in my experience eyeball licking is possibly the least erotic thing ever, in no small part because you see the whole thing.

Having only been on the receiving end of the eyeball licking, I don’t know if it’s any fun to do. Luckily the college boyfriend is still around (I married him a couple years ago) so I asked him if he remembered what it felt like.

“Vividly,” he said, as though I’d asked him if he remembered where he was when Kennedy was shot.

“It’s smoother than a peeled grape,” he said. “You know when you get a ball of fresh mozzarella in a bag of salted water? It’s like licking the skin.”

Have you ever licked someone’s eye or had someone lick yours? Tell us what it was like in the comments.

Via The Guardian/Photo: Shutterstock