When love is in the air nothing seems more romantic than reaching across the table and sharing your delicious meal with your significant other. It doesn’t matter if they have two working hands or their fork within arm’s reach, why should they do it when you can do it for them? Food makes people happy and happy people share by hand-feeding their love over and over again until there’s nothing left on the plate and every table around you is scowling. They’re not scowling at your inability to feed yourself, of course, they’re scowling because they’re jealous of your love. Yes, that’s it.
But at one point does it become a bit much? After the second bite? The third bite? What if the majority of the meal is like that? Feeding each other wedding cake or some cliche chocolate dipped strawberries in the bedroom makes lovely sense, but while you’re sitting at Applebee’s on a Friday night it’s rather overboard no matter how in love you might be in that very moment.
One has to figure that you fell for that person because they were able to live their lives without you up until a certain point, so maybe taking away their self-eating ability is perhaps love overkill. Or maybe those of us with all our limbs in tact, just like to take things into our own hands — we do have them for a reason after all.
But the next time you’re at the Olive Garden, maybe you should consider maxing out at a three bite hand-feeding. Unless, of course, your significant other has a banged up arm from falling off their bike from that day you were so in love frolicking in the park.