Does it make your skin crawl to think Isabella and Jacob were the most popular baby names of 2010? That the Twilight franchise led to so many superfans naming their offspring after central characters that it became an actual trend? Maybe it’s only disquieting because Twilight‘s target market (hopefully) isn’t baby-having age. Or maybe it’s disquieting because it’s like getting a bad tattoo of your favorite band on a whim… only the bad tattoo is a person who has to live with the knowledge that his/her mom fucking loves sparkly Mormon vampires.
Which brings us to Fifty Shades of Grey, this year’s Twilight. Both are nothing more than poorly-written wish-fulfillment, both follow spineless female protagonists and display an impressively facile understanding of human relationships (and earth-shattering, screaming orgasm sex for virgins, LOL). Still, a few years from now, Ana and Christian may be the top baby names.
The twist? Those unfortunate babies were conceived on account of the book.
Yes, Fifty Shades of Grey is causing some people to have sex (maybe they find mixed metaphors arousing?). “Reading Fifty Shades of Grey is acting like an aphrodisiac for women,” explains Linda Murray, EIC of BabyCenter.com to ABC’s Good Morning America, “It’s putting them in the mood more frequently and they’re having more sex and they’re ultimately getting pregnant faster.”
If your natural instinct is to say, “That’s absurd!” just hold on a second, because GMA actually rooted out three real examples.
First, there’s Carly and Leroy Gibson of Spokane, Wash., who were having some trouble conceiving:
“I think the fun was taken out of it at that point in time because you’re like, ‘Okay, here it is. Day 14. We’ve got five days to go. Go strong. I don’t care if you’re tired…it’s time to go to work,’” Carly said.
After Carly began reading Fifty Shades, Leroy says he noticed a change in his wife.
“She just put down the book and she was all over me,” he told GMA. “It was nice and enjoyable.”
Next, there’s Scott and Danielle Olszewski from New York City, also stymied in their efforts:
“I’m blessed that I have two healthy kids but I wanted that one more and I was sad,” Danielle said. “Then Christian Grey entered my life.”
Last, Michelle and Michael Burdick of Brockton, Mass. Michelle suffered a miscarriage and various health problems. Then, a friend of Michelle’s recommended the books:
“I started telling him [Michael] about it, bits and pieces, here and there,” Michelle said. “Then I started taking pictures of the book and sending them to him.”
“I opened up the email and I go, ‘Okay, umm, are you suggesting something?,’” Michael said of his response.
And guess what?
The Gibsons are due on Feb. 15; Michelle and Michael are due Feb. 20; and Scott and Danielle Olszewski are due Feb. 1. February is nine months after the Fifty Shades trilogy saw its biggest spike in sales this past May.
Three couples conceiving doesn’t exactly make for a baby boom, though it can indicate a larger trend (or lazy trend piece). But here we thought people were reading Grey because of its “so bad it’s good” qualities? Do people actually like this book?