Hey, did you know that the guys over at AskMen are secretly documenting the ways in which you might be a bad mother?

It’s true. For instance, if, as a girlfriend, you’re self-centered or a party animal, it means you’ll be a bad mom who will ruin your kids. Same goes for if you’re “not nurturing” (Quote: “Does she take care of you like a nanny when you’re sick? Does she worry about you a little too much? Is she generous with hugs? Has she ever made you breakfast in bed? If the answer to all of those questions is no, she’s not nurturing.”)

Because nothing changes when you have children, right? And if you’re not already acting like a good mother — even now, when you don’t have kids! — you never will.

In response, here’s a little gallery we put together, called “Signs He’s An Overly Judgmental Douchebag.”