Ladies and gentleman, specters and living human beings, I have an announcement to make: there is a dating site for ghosts. It’s called GhostSingles and it is officially my favorite non-cat thing on the Internet. Here is what you need to know about it in the event you or I die soon and stuff gets a little lonely.

1. GhostSingles cares about your past experiences, even the rough ones.

GhostSingles death

2. They don’t age discriminate.

GhostSingles age

3. They hablan Espanol, so if you’re a Spanish-speaking ghost or simply on who wants to brush up on your language skills, you’re in luck!

4. GhostSingles has received solid reviews from dead couples all over the place.

GhostSingles happy

5. Your finances are not an issue, so don’t worry about paying for that dinner that neither you nor your date can eat, digest or otherwise experience.

GhostSingles pricing

6. There may be some accidental run-ins with dead relatives, though…GhostSingles chat

7. And they want you to be realistic.

GhostSingles privacy

8. They don’t want you to experience anything too awkward.

GhostSingles kissing9. Yours truly is totally on it now.*

GhostSingles me

Except not really because I’m not a ghost. :( In conclusion: when good ol’ Amityville becomes the Amityvillain to your love life, you can turn to GhostSingles! Or not, because it’s not a real site and you’re not dead.

*Note: Companies looking to learn about viral marketing: behold. This totally worked. While I am admittedly more gullible and easy to sell to than most people (I would probably be the perfect person for focus groups on the “average” consumer, as advertising works incredibly effectively on me), this site is so much more hilarious than some silly, outrageous video that banks primarily on shock value.