Although it’s been quite a long time since I, myself, have been or virgin, or have even known a virgin, it’s easy for me to forget just how nerve-racking the whole situation can be. It’s not so much nerves, but the scary fact that this is one particular sexual encounter that you will never forget. You never forget your first love, your first kiss, and you certainly don’t forget the first time you have sex.

My first time was on a bottom bunk in a dorm room at Keene State College with my boyfriend at the time. We had put on The Doors, climbed into bed and, well, it was a disappointment (good sex comes later in life.) I stared blankly at the metal springs over my head of the top bunk and patiently waited for it to be over. By the time the fella had orgasmed Joan Osborne‘s song “What If God Was One of Us” was playing, because the CD had ended and gone into radio mode. Do you know what it’s like to know that you technically lost it to that song? All these years of therapy have not helped.

However, for those of you who are still virgins and are getting ready to lose it, Gurl’s Sara Hoots is here to help. Her first tip, is to be honest with the guy if you’re still a virgin — and gauge whether or not you want to go forward with it with him based on his response. If you get some guy, who doesn’t want to take your V-card because he fears you’ll be a “clingy bleeder” afterward as we saw on HBO’s Girls a few weeks ago, then know he’s not the one to lose it to and that that extra special someone is just around the corner.

Don’t compromise when it comes to losing your virginity — you have years to do that later on with other guys, as we all have.

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