I don’t have to try very hard to be open-minded when it comes to sex. Even stuff that isn’t up my alley, I accept as a mere difference of opinion and sexual desires. While there are things I will say no to, there are things that I’ve yet to try, am suspicious about but give it a whirl anyway. You can never truly know for sure how you feel about something until you’ve actually tried it out. I also like to be pushed to the brink of something that makes me uncomfortable; not scared, but almost awkward. There’s something tantalizing about it, and the inability to see what the next second or minute will offer is exciting. But despite this enjoyment for the unknown and something new, a footjob is something I just can’t get behind for some reason.

I have been asked by two different men in my life for me to give them a footjob. In case you’re new to this word, it’s a handjob with your feet and seems to be something that men with foot fetishes crave. The last thing most men I know want is anyone’s feet on their cock, but these two particular fellas requested it.

The first time I was asked was several years ago — it was actually the same person who kept trying to lick my armpit. Since I wouldn’t hand over my armpit to his tongue, I figured I’d try this whole footjob thing because it seemed so absurd, we could laugh about it. However, as I learned, people with foot fetishes do not laugh at such things because it’s really fucking sexual for them. As I watched him pour the lube on his dick in preparation for what I agreed to do, I burst into laughter as he leaned toward me to direct his manly bit between my feet. I couldn’t help thinking how I must have appeared rather monkey-like with my feet turned inward like that and I wondered if this could be the first step in being able to do other things with my feet like write a poem or cook a proper dinner. I couldn’t do it.

It was just a couple weeks ago when I was asked yet again for a footjob by the Tattoo Guy. I stared blankly at him without saying a word. My mind immediately went back to how I envisioned myself years before as I was laying on that fella’s bed just picturing myself as a monkey who was about to feed herself a banana with her feet. Again, I just couldn’t it. It’s too entertaining for me, that I would feel bad laughing at something that my partner thought was really sexy. It would be a bit like mocking, which I wouldn’t be doing, but I think that’s still how it may have come out.

But now I’m wondering that maybe it was wrong of me not to do it. Maybe I should have tried it for the sake of experience or at least a good story. I usually do most things for the sake of story, so I’m not sure why I passed up that opportunity. Maybe it was because I was in need of a pedicure.

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Photo: Spam with Fangs