rainbeau mars diet wedding

You know what’s a great way to get people to stop liking you? Tell them to go on a diet. You know what’s a great way to alienate people and get them to not want to bother attending your stupid wedding? Tell them to go on a diet for the benefit of your stupid wedding. Any takers? Oh, I see we have a winner!

Celebrity “health guru” (side note: WTF does that even mean?) and woman with the world’s most Burning Man-esque name Rainbeau Harmony Mars, had her publicist send a press release about her upcoming wedding to Huffington Post. Why anybody would want their publicist to do that for an event that should be about the love between two people is beyond me*, but nevertheless, the content of this message to HuffPo is pretty fascinating. And by “fascinating,” I mean “awful, obnoxious and absurd.”

Rainbeau Mars apparently wants all her guests — because just messing with the bridal party’s bodies is for underachievers! — to alter their daily lives for the weeks leading up to her wedding.

“Rainbeau hopes that by requesting her guests try out a vegan, and subsequently live food diet for 21 days, everyone will look and feel their best for HER big day.”

Yes, on “HER big day,” she should expect for everyone to “look their best” (i.e. thinner, let’s be honest about the subtext here) via changing their eating habits and lifestyle. Joan and Melissa Rivers will supposedly be there, as will model and makeup entrepreneur Josie Maran; hopefully, they and the rest of Mars’ guests — a lovely and perhaps doubly-accurate set of words, I might add — will tell her to shove it on the diet rec.

Look, guests are just that: guests. Many may come a long way, spend a lot of money on gifts, taken days off work, put a lot of effort into getting there…and for what? To be told they need to “look their best,” as though she didn’t trust them look decent, and to insinuate that having them all go on a diet for a few weeks before hand will make everything that much better when, in fact, your guests’ appearances shouldn’t make or break your wedding no matter what.

*Just kidding, the phrase I’m looking for is “money-hungry.”

Photo: Getty Images