Anything that makes a business out of preying on the insecurities of women bums us out. Anything that reinforces the idea that women have endless anxiety over whether or not He’s into them makes us a little sick. Anyway, HeTexted is not the site for us. …but it does exist.
The premise is quite simple: you are one ambiguous, noncommittal text (from Him) away from eating a full sleeve of Oreos and sobbing uncontrollably to Bon Iver. But why wallow in such earnest, affected grief, when you could crowd source? There may, after all, be hope: perhaps he’s just playing hard to get or has crippling agoraphobia? So, HeTexted invites ladies to submit their most confounding texts (from crushes, hookups, or boyfriends) and allows other ladies to speculate whether or not he’s that into them. The answer is almost certainly, “No,” though, because you will never be loved.
This is so depressing.
This is so, so depressing.
Still, it doesn’t really seem right to disparage people who unwittingly participate in the stereotypes that damage or marginalize them–HeTexted is not the only reason women have anxiety about second dates and sincere commitments. But it is part of a larger problem of packaging and selling this narrative to ladies–or anyone–that these things are worth obsessing over, that someone’s romantic interest is so crucial you should consult strangers online to discern it. Then again, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. And sometimes people are really bad at texting! Who texts, “Sure,” when they mean, “Yes”? Is it passive aggression? Did he not like my hair?
Really, this may be the only viable option:
The hedge represents reason.