Ladies, Esquire 1949 is here to help you understand how to be attractive to men (and whether your crazy hat is already attractive men!) Take note of no. 5: Do  men marvel at your capacity to hold your liquor?

They shouldn’t. Don’t be afraid to be a sloppy mess. Let your mascara just run down your face in rivulets, lady.

Esquire is definitely not the first magazine to do this – this is all lady magazines, all the time, really, even us, sometimes – but I think they are the first to take such a hard line regarding knitting. Enjoy:

are you attractive to men?

men3Okay, my other favorite might be number 14: do you keep your friendships warm by chatty calls to your male friends at the office?

For a second I thought “people were so warm and conversational and talkative after three martini lunches in the 1950s!” but, no, I am wrong. That was fatal. No one should talk during the day.

I assume g-chatting is fine.

Though, to be fair, I absolutely love conversation starters like “what movie would you like to see if you had to watch it every week for a year” (it’s different than your favorite movie!) so it’s not all the worst advice in the entire world.

Via The Worker Dandyist International