I wrote a piece recently for the Huffington Post about how I gave up being a maid of honor for Fashion Week. Yes, it was selfish, but my job was also partially on the line and to be honest, the girl who had asked me wasn’t exactly my closest of friends anymore. We’d had one of those rocky on and off again friendships since fourth grade (Yes! That long!), but since she was always one of those gals who throws her girlfriends to the side whenever she found a new boyfriend, I had pretty much let it go.
But for some reason history comes into play when people get married, and she asked me to be her maid of honor. Of course, now she recalls it all differently and said I begged her to be the maid of honor, which I don’t recall at all, but it was six years ago, so I’m over it and so is she.
The point is that a popular daytime show asked us to come on and talk about that experience. I was well aware that I would be painted as the shitty, selfish asshole friend who the Huffington Post commenters told me I was well over 200 times (perceptive li’l things), as if they didn’t read the article in which I had already addressed this fact. But hey, they don’t call ’em trolls for nothing.
It would have been one thing had this particular program had been some Jerry Springer type of situation, but considering the Obamas have been on this show of which I’m speaking, I was all for it. I also thought the experience would be fun!
However, there were logistics with who would take care of her kids (sadly, the marriage has ended, and her parents live in Florida.) The show was willing to fly up her parents to take care of the kids for a night or two, then fly my friend to NYC, put her up in a hotel and cover all her expenses for this particular segment. When I finally got her to agree, things fell through, her parents had to work and somewhere along the line her new (very new) boyfriend, whom I’ve never met, took his anger with me out on Facebook as the kids do these days. He did not realize my blood is 90% venom and I will lashout when backed into a corner like a cobra sent from the devil himself!
This particular friend and I who, as I’ve said, have been off and on for years, are once again in “off” mode because her new and controlling boyfriend has stepped in to manipulate a situation that did not concern him in any way. Although I would never say that this friend of mine has had the strongest will when it comes to men, one would have hoped that recent events in her life may have made her wary of the input of her significant others — especially those who are new to the picture.
As one who has allowed her heart to be controlled by a man or two in the past, my actions and decisions have never been. I’m too much of a hothead, and like a petulant child, will rebuff any request to either do or not do something based on the input of another.
So, I have to ask those of you in serious relationships, how much of your life do you let your significant other control? Do you ask how high when they say jump? Do you tell them to fuck off and do your thing anyway? Or is there such a thing as compromise and I should just learn the meaning of it? Also, aforementioned boyfriend wears a puka shell necklace — should this be a concern as well?
Photo: Control Freak