gift basket

Over at Jezebel, there is a story that will make you never want to go to a wedding again. Basically, a couple gave newlyweds a food basket. It sounds delicious. The gift giver says:

As a gift, my Girlfriend and I gave [the couple] a wicker box with a hinged lid, filled with food items, most of them PC Black Label, including: tri-color pasta, salsas, Balsamic vinegar and Olive, Gourmet croutons, Panko Breading, Pesto, some baking ingredients, Biscuits from Godiva and a few ‘Fun’ items like Marshmallow Fluff, Sour Patch Kids and Butterscotch sauce.”

Look. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT GIFT. Who doesn’t like Marshamllow fluff? Everyone. Everyone likes Marshmallow fluff. Except for this insane couple who, upon receiving the gift, asked for a receipt. By saying:

I’m not sure if it’s the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding… People give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate… And got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return Just a heads up for the future :)

Do not end things with a smiley face when situations do not merit a smiley face. Perhaps at this moment you might be thinking, “Did this newlywed view the wedding not as a celebration of love, but as a money making scheme? That’s madness!” No, they totally did. They actually did that. When the gift giver explained that you don’t really get to pick your wedding gifts, the newlywed replied:

Again… Out of 210 people at a wedding… The only I gift I got from all was yours… And fluffy whip and sour patch kids. Your Facebook message had nothing to do with the gift. Weddings are to make money for your future.. Not to pay for peoples meals. Do more research. People haven’t gave gifts since like 50 years ago! You ate steak, chicken, booze, and a beautiful venue.

If that is the only person who took the time to put together an actual gift, that is absolutely tragic. As is following up your wedding by berating guests about gifts. Just promise me that when you get married – if you are not already – you will accept the delicious marshmallow whip with open arms, okay? Just do that.

Picture via Getty