Despite the stunning displays of fireworks, your lovely patriotic manicure, and the fact that your significant other got a bald eagle tattooed on his forehead as a rather unfunny joke regarding his receding hairline, you are bored. So bored. So much more bored than Lindsay Lohan, or anybody watching Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick. The proverbial white flag is being waved, albeit limply, or perhaps you are just listening to that song by Dido. It is time to come to terms with it: your relationship is seriously lacking in sparks.

While I am not currently in a relationship, I have experienced a couple that–even if they started out positively enthralling–eventually became a bit repetitive. When you are dating somebody for a year or five or longer, sometimes you wind up in a “Netflix, 10-minute sex sesh, now it’s sleepytime” rut. And that, while annoying, is both common and totally normal to happen at any age.

Part of the reason I am bringing this up is because I recently heard that 3ndr is finally happening. In case you haven’t heard, 3ndr is like Tinder, except it is meant for finding threesomes. Unsurprisingly, the most hype I have heard about it has been from people in relationships, thus bringing me to wonder what everybody does to add some excitement into their partnership. While threesomes certainly are not for everyone, I am sure most people have some intriguing tips and tricks for changing things up.

So, dear friends, what is your best advice for those who are looking to spice up their relationship? (I know, I know–“spice up” is best reserved for cheesy ladymags and fake marriage counselors who advertise in the subway.) But for the sake of us all in the future, let’s lay those tips out right now.