How do I tell someone I have an STD?

Talking to an ex is always frustrating, but it’s even worse when you have to tell them something embarrassing or upsetting. Namely, that you have an STD. A friend of The Gloss recently found out she has herpes–a generally harmless, albeit inconvenient and sometimes very painful, STD. Now, she is frightened and ashamed to tell anybody, let alone her exes–even though she feels obligated to in order to act responsibly.

Of course, herpes by no means you will never find love; in fact, one of our past writers wrote at length about how having herpes allowed her to quickly rule out partners who were not right for her. Rather than letting it inhibit her dating and sex life or keep her quiet about something that shouldn’t carry such negative notions along with it, she instead spoke openly and honestly about dealing with it.

All that said, our society does automatically assume those who have herpes and other STDs are simply Dr. McSluts who poke holes in condoms (if they even use any), when in truth, nearly anybody can get an STD–though young women “in particular” are apparently prone to them. When one finds out one has an STD, a million stressful questions arise with regard to telling one’s exes: What if he tells all my friends? What if nobody ever wants to have sex with me again? What if he calls me a whore?

So dear readers, we hope you can help our friend (which in retrospect sounds like we’re referring to ourselves, but oh well, don’t have sex with our website if you’re worried about it). What’s the best way to tell an ex you have an STD? If you’ve got stories, we’d love to hear ’em!

Photo: 20after4/Flickr