We’ve devoted a couple Illustrated Guides to the overwhelmingly stupid idea of spending $2000+ on a handbag just for the logo. But don’t worry, ladies, we just haven’t gotten to the convenient loophole: if you can convince someone else to spend $2000 on a handbag and then give it to you, you are actually a genius. The only trick is you have to fuck ’em first.

Wealthy dudes are everywhere right now: doing BDSM stuff and making spreadsheets. The field is wide open. This week’s Guide explains how to land one.