I haven’t thought of the term “dry-humping” since high school. However, recently it keeps coming up in conversations with people and I’m forced to recall my dry-humping past. Then last night my friend had gone on an online date that ended in dry-humping.

“What do you mean ‘dry-humping?’ Like high school stuff?” I asked.

“Yes! We were making out in the cab and he started grinding up on me. He was pushing his crotch against mine really hard. I’ll probably have bruises on my pelvic bone tomorrow.”

“I had no idea people were still doing that!” I exclaimed, as my mind immediately wandered to how I was going to make it into a post. (Unfortunately, that’s exactly how my brain works with everything at this point in my life.)

After some Googling, I found that dry-humping actually has it’s own Wikipedia page. Obviously, this fact alone makes dry-humping (also known as non-penetrative sex and outercourse), a real thing that people, besides 15-year-olds on the couch after their parents go to sleep, do. And based on last night’s incident with my friend it also appears to be a step for some adults in getting to the actual intercourse stage of the game. Yes, my friends, the 30-something dry-humping community is alive and well!

What I remember most about dry-humping is, like my friend and her now-bruised nether region, was the pain. When two people are wearing jeans and humping each other as if they’re bunny rabbits in some sort of competition, it doesn’t feel good at all. It actually fucking hurts. I understand that this is just what kids do as a prelude to the real deal, but once you have the real deal, why would you go back to all that pain? I would only feel good 10% of the time!

So now I have to ask:

[b5poll id=”02ecc60155a6efb136d8e9263a985221″]

 

 

Photo: The Onion