I have always found giant weddings to be more than a bit obnoxious, lately, I think I have become even more appalled by the number of people who seem to view the day of their marriage as a joint birthday party (which, by the way, is still ridiculous to expect gifts at once you are an adult). Now, a couple in California expects to have other people — even those who aren’t invited or don’t know them — to pay for their wedding via crowdfunding.
Cesar Hernandez-Topete and Miguel Munoz are attempting to raise $2,500 for their wedding via GoFundMe, a site where people can solicit donations on the Internet. They explain:
With the landmark ruling that came a few days ago we ran down to City Hall to attain a Marraige [sic] License, given we have 90 days to complete it and limited funds for the wedding we decided to ask for your help in making our wedding a reality. We are also in the process of adopting and have had countless bills to get our place ready for the arrival of our first child. Any amount (5$,10$,15$,20$) will have us a step closer to our dreams of starting a life together and a family. Help us have an Amazing Celebration!
The couple is sending desserts from Cake Pops and Company to people who donate more than $25 (which begs the question: why not spend that “reward” money for cake pops on your own wedding? I am admittedly in the dark here, though). So far, they’ve raised $575, which is very nice for them.
But listen: I am more than thrilled that DOMA and Prop 8 were overturned. However, that has nothing to do with the lack of logic here.
The short answer to the question I posed in my title: Yes. Yes, it is poor etiquette. It’s also just ridiculous. You are not required to have a pricey wedding in order to be married. Nobody is making you get a cupcake tower; only you are making you get a cupcake tower.
From people getting mad at literally sweet gifts because they’re not cash to writing lengthy, rude emails at friends in debt who can’t afford to give large monetary gifts, more and more couples seem to believe that they not only should have wedding they can’t afford — they are entitled to it. If you can only afford a baby and not the wedding you want, then please, pay to keep the baby safe; don’t assume that people should have your back if you don’t want to wait until you’re financially secure enough for the party you want. Having your family (and maybe, maybe friends, I guess) help pay for your wedding is one thing; asking the general public? Uh, no. Please don’t do that.
Stop having parties you can’t afford; if you must have an event, then have a smaller one that fits in your budget. Put the money you would use for a fancier wedding toward a home, toward a rainy day fund, toward those kids you’re so excited about having and/or adopting. You know, the stuff that actually makes a marriage? And if you simply must have a fancy themed wedding, just enter into contests until you win a bacon one. Otherwise, GoFundYourself please.