There’s a new product available called My After Sex Buddy for you if you are lonely, and need a stuffed animal to hold after sex, and didn’t carefully preserve the beloved velveteen rabbit of your youth forever (someone made bad choices, that someone was you). Oh, and if it’s impossible to get your man-friend to cuddle. Which I don’t actually think is that hard. Now, admittedly, I hold out on the cuddling. You know the beginning of Peter Pan where they talk about Mrs. Darling and say:

She was a lovely lady, with a romantic mind and such a sweet mocking mouth. Her romantic mind was like the tiny boxes, one within the other, that come from the puzzling East, however many you discover there is always one more; and her sweet mocking mouth had one kiss on it that Wendy could never get, though there is was, perfectly conspicuous in the right-hand corner… Wendy thought Napoleon could have got it, but I can picture him trying, and then going off in a passion, slamming the door.

THAT IS WHAT CUDDLING SHOULD BE LIKE. It should be the last thing anyone gets.

Come to think of that, perhaps that is why people are willing to cuddle with me when I finally let my guard down. Because I’ve tricked them into thinking it’s like winning, somehow.

But, in general, it’s not really that hard, right? Even though I hold out on the cuddle for as long as possible, if someone said “I’d really like to cuddle, now” I would do it, based on the assumption that I had some fondness for them and wanted them to be happy. And, really, because it’s just not that hard to idly fling your arms over someone like spaghetti for a few minutes. Not that hard. Really.

In conclusion, I think this doll is dumb.

That aside! Do you have trouble getting your boyfriend/husband/random person to cuddle? Isn’t this kind of like talking about how men have to beg and coerce women to have sex with them? That is to say, something that trades on a totally outmoded stereotype? Maybe?