As far as sex acts go, I always wish that as a society, we’re becoming more tolerant of whatever consenting adults want to do together instead of less. But we’re not.
Case in point: over at the NYT, there is a whole section devoted to whether or not sexting between adults it’s OK. Or, as the debate is aptly titled, “What’s Wrong With Adult Sexting?”
One psychologist claims that people over the age of 27 should be wary about sexting, since for that age group it becomes about power and dominance:
“When considering young people under 27 years old, we found that they do not have a difference in their power scores, implying that sexting does not relate to control or social status in this age group. Surprisingly, for the group 27 and over, it seems that power or dominance is a factor.”
First of all, I automatically don’t trust anything that assigns an exact age to any phenomenon. I don’t think you can ascribe characteristics to people based on their date of birth. Their generation, maybe. But not their precise age.
Second of all, the back and forth of power and dominance are often a part of sexual interactions, especially in the early stages of flirting and dating.
More importantly, though, while it might be interesting to know why adults sext, to presume to say that it might be wrong is out of line. Fortunately, one person who took part in the debate was the voice of reason: sociologist Pepper Schwartz wrote that sexting crosses a line only when the advances are unwanted and it becomes harassment.
Got that, Weiner?