monique lhuillier dress wedding

Jen is getting married! Jen needs to wear a dress to get married. Should Jen wear this non-white Monique Lhuillier dress?

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If you think she should not, do you have another suggestion? If you top this, and Jen actually chooses your suggestion, I’ll send you some swag. I don’t know what. Probably a box full of beauty stuff. You know. To help you land a man.

Some things Jen notes that you may or may not want to take into account. I mean, you should probably take them into account if you want a free box of random beauty swag but I don’t know you, or how you make decisions:

There will be no bridesmaids. [EIC NOTE: all I want is to be a maid of dishonor]. Also, no aisle. No groom-not-seeing-me. I will actually just be there, like a normal person, when people arrive. I’ll be like, “Welcome! I am wearing a dress! And having a party! I am not a virgin and you already know what I look like, so let’s get this over with and drink!”

Here are the requirements:

The dress should be long. Probably.

It should incorporate light/neutral colors. Unless it’s otherwise awesome.

No pastels. Or, at least, not entirely pastel.

$2,000 or less.

Can be repurposed for the Oscars, should I simply happen to be attending.

Off the rack. I don’t need tailoring! Sorry to be the bitch everyone hates, but everything ever made in my size by any designer ever, fits me. Seriously. Every time I try something on, it fits. I’m the one they make all the clothes for.
I didn’t ask for this privilege, but there it is.

Bonus points for as snooty a designer name as possible within that price range.

No vintage. I don’t care how hip it is, I like new things. I also don’t read library books, because someone else might have read them on the toilet.

So, there you have it. Go! Make brilliant suggestions!