jill duggar engaged

Oh me, oh my, we have a Duggar engagement to celebrate! Somebody get out the virgin margaritas and white balloons (not the phallic ones, the round ones. No crap, those look like boobs. Scrap the balloons!) and put on some Christian rock–it’s time to get wild! And by that I mean you can all sway gently with only as much mobility as your floor length denim skirt will allow.

It would appear that 22-year-old J-name daughter Jill Duggar has accepted the proposal of one Derick Dillard, a 25-year-old accountant. The two were strolling around Arkansas with their chaperones (lol), when a stranger asked the couple if he could sing them a love song. Instead of calling 911 or running for her life like any normal human, she was like “yeah, I would love that. Fantastic.” Apparently, she got to the second verse (who stands there for that long?) and at that point realized the song was about her and her man.

Dillard did the ring/proposal thing, and then those two couldn’t keep their hands off of each other each other’s hands. They held hands for the first time after becoming engaged, which is their choice (it’s definitely not), so good for them. As Jill put it,

“We decided to wait to hold hands until we were engaged and to have our first kiss on our wedding day. We want to save the physical side of our relationship for our wedding day and not go further than we should. If you are kissing, it gets more intimate. Obviously, you can kiss and not have sex. It’s about setting a higher standard so you don’t struggle [with temptation].”

I love nothing more than when conservative Christians invoke the higher standard thing, as if the rest of us heathens just walk around shitting our pants and masturbating in public, cursing our pagan gods.

Hooray for the happy couple! Enjoy that handholding– it’s way less messy than what you’re in for.

Photo: People