Look, this is uncomfortable, because I’m pretty sure this is like being the kind of woman who lusted after Fabio. And I always thought that kind of woman was very likely to wear sweaters with cats on them.

But have you seen these commercials?


Every time I am working on something at 3:00 in the morning, they are always on. I leave the television on while I’m working, partly because I don’t want to fall asleep, partly because I like to feel connected to humanity. I don’t really pay attention to it. But Jesus Christ, Johan’s voice makes me sit up and take notice. I think it may be because whenever this commercial is on I feel like the woman sitting in the cubicle, and I just want a young, eager assistant who looks like Johan.

Or it’s possible that I am just really attracted to men who can pull off fur coats. That seems reasonable.

Anyhow, I’m mentioning this because I’m vaguely hopeful we can make it a thing, like when every guy you knew had a crush on the T-Mobile girl. Remember her?

t mobile girl

She’s still around, but she no longer wears a sundress.

Look, I really think the man-fur coat is the man equivalent to a pink sundress. I don’t know. It looks like he killed some beast himself. Anyhow, I would like a cup of coffee and I would like Johan to bring it to me, and I am going to continue lusting after him without ever changing my coffee brand because the stuff he is hawking is not stocked in the office kitchen. Good talk, everyone.