John Mayer has ignored the desperate pleas of his publicist and taken another interview with Rolling Stone. In the latest issue, he absolutely unloads on “country cutie” Taylor Swift, who famously wrote “Dear John,” about their doomed relationship and, tangentially, who famously writes all songs like a 15-year-old writes diary entries. John apparently felt “humiliated” by the move, which he described as “cheap.” Here’s the full soundbite:
“It made me feel terrible. Because I didn’t deserve it. I’m pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do.” [Mayer tells Rolling Stone that he learned about Swift’s feelings directly from her song] “I never got an e-mail. I never got a phone call. I was really caught off-guard, and it really humiliated me at a time when I’d already been dressed down. I mean, how would you feel if, at the lowest you’ve ever been, someone kicked you even lower?”
When asked about the song’s line, “Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?” Mayer says, “I don’t want to go into that.”
Mayer also takes issue with “Dear John” as a musician. “I will say as a songwriter that I think it’s kind of cheap songwriting,” he says. “I know she’s the biggest thing in the world, and I’m not trying to sink anybody’s ship, but I think it’s abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, ‘Wait till he gets a load of this!’ That’s bullshit.”
The “dressing down” to which Mayer refers is the shitstorm that resulted from his own inability to edit himself, giving twin interviews to Playboy and Rolling Stone, in which he (respectively) revealed that his dick doesn’t like black women and spoke in no uncertain terms about his previous flames, saying of Jennifer Aniston, “I think she’s still hoping it goes back to 1998,” and of Jessica Simpson, “That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me… Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm…”
However, as much as we’d like to point out that the whole reason Mayer found himself in this mess is his own big mouth, we do think he’s correct to criticize Swift as a songwriter. For example, the lyrics to “Dear John” are completely embarrassing:
Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps praying the floor won’t fall through again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine
You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules everyday
Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight
Well, I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why
Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone
Don’t think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I should’ve known
Oh my god, a chess game metaphor. Amazingly, it goes on like that. So, while Mayer did get a taste of his own medicine, he’s right: naming a lugubrious breakup ballad after your famous ex to stir up attention from the press is cheap. And lame.
Do these people just hate privacy?
(The new issue of Rolling Stone hits newsstands Friday)