Just-in time for the holidays comes Just-In Beaver, otherwise known as the Justin Bieber sex doll. He’s (finally!) 18, he wants to be your boy toy, and he’s ambiguously human. Not sure why there’s so much weird bitterness directed at Selena Gomez, though.

The nice people at sex toy manufacturer Pipedream–who make manifold interesting things like “oral sex candy” and vibrating nipple cups (here are some wares)–may have ground out an idea for the ages, but it’s certainly not official Bieber merchandise.

Here it is in all its terrifying glory:

Has he been shirtless under his hoodie this entire time?

First of all, no 18-year-old in history has ever been ready to rock someone’s world. Second of all, that contradicts the copy on the other side of his distractingly hairless torso, “He still needs practice.” Does he or doesn’t he? Perhaps the needing practice line is a misguided come-on?

Anyway, this is weird and disturbing–mostly because actual Bieber still looks like a fetus with a blow-out.

(via The Superficial)

[Ed. Note: Curiously, while figuring out what best key words would drive people to this post–we settled on “Justin Bieber sex doll”!–we found that “justin bieber sexy pictures” and “justin bieber sexually frustrated” were popular search terms. Maybe there is a market for this terrifying skinjob]