I’m not really a big believer in kids containing in their tiny bodies all the wisdom and humor of the ages (in spite of the fact that this is the premise of at least 20 popular television shows). However, I am a big believer in, when first dates turn sour, running home and telling everyone I know who write obituaries that they need to print that I am dead. Problem solved! Therefore, this list of kid-inspired advice on how dating and marriage works is logical, and all the advice stands, and should be taken and adhered to with the utmost seriousness.