There’s a funny GQ article listing the kind of profiles you will see when you try online dating, regardless of whether it’s on EHarmony, or, or OKCupid  (don’t worry, they make fun of men, too). It’s here. It’s funny. But if you hate clicking links, they note that some you will absolutely see are:

The Poetess

“Why do we connect? What causes solitary beings to want so desperately to be close to one another? Perhaps love is another form of gravity, a cosmic force bringing us together whether we like it or not. To submit to it is to live in the moment. My name is Paulette. I enjoy tandem bicycle rides.”

The Woman with a Crazy Life (That’s So CRAZY!)

“My life is CRAZY. I have AMAZING friends who love to ski and drink too much Chablis! I have a CRAZY job and travel ALL THE TIME: Little Rock, Reno, Raleigh… You name it, I’ve been there! Sometimes I think I should slow down, because I just wanna live in the moment. Can YOU be that special speed bump?”


The “Possibly Foreign, Possibly a Spam Profile” Woman

“Hello I am funs human from Romania. I move here four years ago and make many good friend but not find special lover. Could YOU be lover? I have two daughter and they need wood for fire. I LIVE IN MOMENT.”

Thank you, GQ. Thank you for realizing that this “living in the moment” thing is absurd nonsense.
Because everyone seems to list “living in the moment” on their online profile as though it is an accomplishment. As though most people are living in a different moment entirely, but not them, they are living in the moment that is actually occurring. This is not true. Most people are actually forced, by the laws of man and nature, to live in the moment they are currently inhabiting. Thinking about things in the future or past is not so much “not living in the moment” as it is “being a human being with thoughts.” Not me, though, because I am living in the Jurrassic age, because I am either a dinosaur or clinically insane.
Picture via Wikipedia